tracery

i had been reading all that i could find of the writing of j.g. bennett who

had passed through the work of gurdjieff.

i was immersed.

in love with the ideas, but through applying my own habit of reading and learning

and then believing that "i knew",

i wasn't learning anything that i could truly apply to the details of my daily work.

one evening, i saw in the newspaper that "meetings with remarkable men" a film by peter brook depicting the early years of gurdjieff, would be showing at a small cinema on the west side of toronto.

i arrived in a state of great excitement and walking down the late summer streets i moved between the shadows of the buildings full in the hope that i would experience some sort of transformative experience.

surprisingly, there was a small crowd outside the theatre.

among them were sufis.

as i approached i was compelled to absorb their appearance.

and then their presence.

i must have been holding my gaze for some time,

for i became aware that one of the men was holding my eyes.

not in a harsh or judgemental manner.

rather, i felt compassion and encouragement.

afterwards i considered that this man

- much like i -

lived in a city.

he benefitted ffromood and shelter and love and warmth.

and was who and what and why and how and when he was.

much like i.

from that moment alone

everything has flowed.

-

there is a kind of out-of-sight dreaming

that never stops. light for other eyes.

a zone where creeping thoughts learn to walk.

faces and forms regrouped.

we're moving on a street among people

in blazing sun.

but just as many - maybe more -

we don't see

are in dark buildings -

high on both sides.

sometimes one of them comes to the window

and glances down on us.

tomas tranströmer